Bleed for them, Don’t Burn for them.

“What do I do when it is time for me to see my family and I know their lifestyle is contradictory to mine?”

This question has plagued many Christians time and time again. I myself as a self-proclaimed pew baby ask this question regularly. It is frustrating, embarrassing, and disappointing to see your loved ones stray from Jesus. I get fearful for their souls, but they don’t have the same urgency as me. Sometimes I even find myself angry at their behavior and how blatantly sinful and dangerous it is. I’ve prayed, and I’ve fasted and still, I have not found it in myself to forgive them for their transgressions. That is until I reminded myself; that I am just a child of God. They are also God’s children. It is not up to me to forgive them for their sins; only to forgive them for the sins they’ve committed against me. It is not my job to save their souls, only to pray and inform them regarding God and the Holy Spirit. Regardless of their relation to me; they are my brothers and sisters in Christ; our Father has invited us home and I am going whether they plan to show up or not. I will not spend my time on God’s green earth waiting outside the door for my brothers and sisters to arrive at our Father’s dwelling. Instead, I will dwell in the house of the Lord and cry out in prayer for them; and waiting patiently that they will answer our Father’s call and join me in his midst. I love my brothers and sister physically and spiritually; I’d bleed for them any day. But I will never burn for them.

The holiday season, a time often associated with joy, family, and togetherness, can be particularly challenging for those with difficult family relationships. While the Bible calls us to love our neighbors, it also recognizes the reality of human brokenness and the need to set boundaries.

“Love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31) is a fundamental Christian principle. This includes our family members, even those who may not share our faith. However, as Jesus also taught, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44). This doesn’t mean we should allow ourselves to be continually hurt or abused.

As Christians, we are called to love our family members, even those who may not share our faith or are actively living in sin. However, it’s important to uphold that our love should not compromise our own spiritual well-being. “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14)

We must strike a delicate balance between love and self-preservation. “Bleed for them, don’t burn for them” is a powerful phrase that encapsulates this idea. We can sacrifice for our loved ones, but we must not sacrifice our own souls.

It’s natural to feel disappointment and frustration when loved ones reject God’s love. We may even blame ourselves, questioning if we could have done more. However, it’s important to remember that we are not responsible for their choices. Each person is ultimately accountable to God. “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done while in the body, whether good or evil” (2 Corinthians 5:10). While we are called to share the gospel with our loved ones, we cannot force them to believe. It is the Lord who opens the mind of the unbeliever to believe and receive the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 4:6).

It’s important to remember that salvation is an individual journey. “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9). Jesus paid the price for all of our sins; if those around us seek to accrue a debt they themselves cannot afford; we must acknowledge we cannot split the bill with them. Salvation is given by the Lord, not by man.“Each one of us will give an account of himself to God” (Romans 14:12). While we are called to spread the gospel, the ultimate decision to accept Christ rests with the individual.

As we navigate these challenging relationships, it’s crucial to prioritize our own spiritual health. “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8) By focusing on our relationship with God, we can find peace and perspective.

Remember, we are all God’s children, and He loves us deeply. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16). “For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus.” (Galatians 3:26). We can trust in His sovereignty and His plan for our lives. While some may choose to reject God’s love, we must trust in His sovereignty and His ability to draw people to Himself.

While we may long to see our loved ones come to faith, we cannot force them. “The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance” (2 Peter 3:9). It’s important to avoid getting caught up in trying to “save” others. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18) We cannot force people to accept Christ. Instead, we must trust in God’s timing and His ability to work in their hearts.

As we seek to love and serve others, let us also remember to love and care for ourselves. We must not allow ourselves to be dragged down by the negative influences of others. Let us focus on our own spiritual growth and trust that God will work in the hearts of our loved ones.

Note this, Heaven is our ultimate destination. It is a place of eternal joy and peace, where there will be no more pain or suffering. “And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away” (Revelation 21:4).  

Let us find comfort in this hope and trust in God’s perfect plan.

• I Love my Family but They Won’t Stop Sinning